So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
