WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
