His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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