A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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