When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
