Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
