She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
