I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
