I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
