if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
