Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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