the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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