How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
