hotel room ftw
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
