I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
