He is such a slut. More and more my type.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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