She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
