Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
