I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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