Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
