he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
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