Barsexuality is the new black.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
