a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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