I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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