What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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