Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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