so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
