You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
