Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
