When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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