I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
