that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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