You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
