Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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