Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
FUCK WHALES
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