...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
