This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
