If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
