How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
