Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
love makes seman taste better
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
