I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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