Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
