I hate your face
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
wow bdsm is so cute
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
