90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
