Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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