margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
