I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
