Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
