Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
