You're completely useless in the revolution.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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