I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
